It’s OK To Be A Man
After many years of study, research and trying different things, I’ve now realized that there is a conspiracy against men being successful with women.
It’s very real, and it’s very pervasive in our culture.
Let me explain.
Most men that I know have some kind of ‘feeling’ that it’s wrong in some way to sleep with more than one woman at a time (I’m not even referring to a Menage A Trios, either. I’m talking about plain old runof- the-mill dating of a couple of women at a time here).
But most women that I know have more than just a ‘feeling’ about this. Most women are outspoken and very forward about the idea that it’s WRONG for most men to date and sleep with more than one woman.
You can see it in their faces and hear it in their voices when theytalk about it.
If you know what I’m talking about, give me a silent nod here.
What I’ve discovered by doing my homework is that the moral idea of monogamy (having only one partner at a time) has been formalized, passed down, and force-fed to us culturally by rulers, religions and women for thousands of years.
I don’t mean to get too far out here, but I feel that understanding where these beliefs came from and how they are promoted will liberate many readers.
Anywhere from hundreds to thousands of years ago, rulers of lands kept large harems of women. These harems were guarded carefully to prevent any males except the rulers from having access to these women. The penalty for sleeping with one of the ruler’s women could be, in an extreme case, your own death plus the deaths of everyone in
your family and village (Back then there were bigger risks involved!).
These rulers kept so many women not just for the sexual variety that it provided them, but more for the reproductive power that it gave them. These rulers often had detailed records kept so they could copulate with only the most fertile women so as to maximize the woman’s chances of pregnancy and passing on their own genes.
So what do you think these rulers did to protect their harems?
Right! They passed laws (that they were exempt from) to promote monogamy.
In these times there was a great shortage of women, so these laws would discourage married men (those lucky enough to find a woman) from seeking sex outside of their marriage, and therefore protect the ruler’s harem further.
Next, we have the church.
Many religions prohibit sex, make sex ‘wrong,’ give it some name with negative connotation like ‘fornication,’ or in one way or another discourage it.
I once heard a wise man say « Religions take everything that your DNA naturally wants to do to survive and pro-create and makes it wrong. » Why? Well, if you’re busy fighting your internal drives, and you see God as the only way to cleanse yourself of these ‘bad’ thoughts, then you are a much better SHEEP.
If you want to get people to follow you, first confuse them, then convince them that you know the way to get them out of their confused state. Easy.
Finally, we have women. This is the interesting one.
If you look at it from an ‘economic’ standpoint, it doesn’t benefit women at all to have their man running around having sex with other women. She can only be pregnant with one child at a time, and she can only raise a limited number at a time, so having a man that’s out spreading his seed is BAD BAD BAD for business for her. When you’re out spreading seed, you can’t be working or home helping. Even worse, you might have other kids with other women which will divide your attention and income further. (By the way, I’m not saying that there’s anything wrong with women’s perspectives. I’m just saying that if you look at it from their point of view, there’s not a lot of benefit to having a man that likes to sleep with a lot of women.)
But if you’re like me and you were given a set of ideas about women that you are now realizing to be less than useful, then move on and start thinking about the subject differently.
My perspective is that sleeping with different women breaks no ‘law of the universe,’ and it’s not an ethical dilemma for me. Any objections that are in existence were created mostly to control, not to liberate. My perspective is also that it’s important to be honest with people about your views. And yes, this means talking to women about them. In my life, I’ve mostly had long term girlfriends. And if I tell a woman that I’m going to be faithful, then I am.
But if I’m single, then I see nothing wrong with dating as many women as I want. (Keep in mind that there are some crazy viruses, diseases and other scary bugs that want to jump on your wiener. So use good judgement.)
I’ve found that if you explain the topic like I just have to a woman, you’ll often show her a perspective that she’s never even thought of. My experience is that women actually LOVE to hear a man talking this way. It’s refreshing to women to hear a man being open about this controversial topic rather than hiding his ideas. It’s important to
remember what I said above: « It’s OK To Be A Man. »
If you are who you are and make no apologies for yourself, you will be taken seriously. But if you approach the topic cautiously and act like you’re trying to see if she’s OK with your views, you’ll be seen as weak and insecure.
I’ve found that most women will accept you as you are. But if you try to act like someone that you’re not, then you’re found out, you will be treated with disrespect and ex-communicated.